AOi's Journal!

Letter from Mexico!
To my dearest friends: September 20th, 2004.

Hello! How’ve you been? It’s been already 3 months (almost) since I came back to Mexico. I’m very sorry I’ve been so awful and didn’t send any emails to anyone. I hope everybody’s doing great wherever you are, whatever you’re doing. I don’t know where to begin, since so many things have happened since I came back and I’m still struggling trying to settle down mentally and physically. First of all, I guess everybody’s concerned about my burns (since I made it such big news. Hahaha) My leg’s fine. Only weird scars left. My hand… I don’t know. I found a doctor and I’ve already visited him four times and it’s actually getting better. It’s not oozing anymore. However, my skin is getting thicker, so I had to move on to a special treatment with some gloves that will keep pressing my skin so it won’t thicken anymore. The problem is that in Mexico they don’t make those special gloves and I had to order them to the States. Hahahah. Very expensive and takes a while. Ayayayay, Mexico… The hateful thing is that I’m in a lot of pain these days. I never imagined that after 3 months since the accident it’d still hurt this much. My rehab is harder, therefore, and since the treatment will go on for a year or so, sometimes I get really frustrated. But at least it’s getting better, right? (^ ^)
Since I came back to Mexico, I’ve seen so many people, mostly friends. One of my friends had a baby girl on the 15th of September! Also, my childhood friend/best friend came from Japan to visit me and we spent almost the whole 2 weeks she stayed together. I’ve also had some reunions with old schoolmates whom I haven’t seen for more than five years. Soon after my returning, I was asked if I wanted to volunteer for an interpreter for a NGO group from Japan who’s going to visit some institutions for street children in Mexico. Almost 20 years living in Mexico, it was the first time I visited an institution for young single mothers and street children who are recovering from drug and physical abuse. I also had the opportunity to actually go out on the streets with the so called “street educators” to see how they try to convince the kids to change their lives. It was very shocking to see teenage children living in a sewer, doing drugs. Some couldn’t talk or focus well because of the drugs and it scared me. When I heard about a girl who got pregnant (teenage sex and the father ran away) and was killed in a car accident, a couple of days before giving birth to her child, by a drunk cop (who didn’t get any punishment at all) I was filled with so much anger and frustration and shame that I couldn’t hold my tears. It was the reality that so many of us don’t see living in this huge city. Also, I’ve had so many college students visiting from Japan, who came to either study or to just have fun in the city, and learned so many things from them. At the same time, I’ve also made great friendships with lots of Mexican students who are learning Japanese here in Mexico. Even though we’ve known each other for only a month or so, they made me a big birthday party with a huge cake and danced salsa hehe.(I remembered my great parties in R-MWC with my Bellfifthers ; v ;). I’ve met so many people in less than three months and I’ve learned so much from all of them. As a result, I was never home hahaha. It is amazing how everyday you meet someone and sometimes that person can change your entire perspective or even your entire life. As one meets new friends, one also keeps the old ones. Whenever I met someone new, I always remembered someone I’ve already met saying “hey, s/he talks like…” “s/he likes the same movie as…” and so on. The truth is I really miss all of you, very much. Summer vacation is over for most of you and I can’t deny I feel left behind, not knowing what to do this whole year that is just a blank that I have to fill. I’m trying to find a job so I can earn some money to get back to college, but without a degree it’s really hard. Also, I was shocked by the news from my parents that we might leave Mexico for good sooner than I thought. My mom said the only thing she was sorry about is that we (my brother and I) will lose a home to come back to. Since I never even dreamed about losing my home, it came to be a huge shock for me. I was told to start throwing things away, but my obstinate heart doesn’t accept the fact yet. It’s not easy to accept things, especially when they’re bad news for you and meeting new people could be fun but at the same time they make you think so many things it gives you a headache hahaha. I question myself too much these days that many times I stay up til sunrise reading back diaries and letters, looking at old albums and remembering what my life has been so far.
Well, before this letter becomes too philosophical and boring, I just wanted to let you know that my wounds are healing, with pain and without pain hahahah, and that I’m doing okay. What I wish the most this moment is to visit each one of you and give you a big, tight hug. Wish you were here. I miss your hug (; _ ;) Please be safe, have lots of fun and live your lives. I hope next time I will be able to give you some good news like, “I FOUND A JOB! YAY!” or “I found some candies on the street! Yummy!” juuust kidding. Hahah Take lots and lots of care.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS,

Aoi (^ _______________________________ ^)

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Puff Daddy "I'll be missing you"

Love is all I need ♪
I have a crush on a guy. It's been a while since I felt something like this for someone. It's been a while since someone (besides my loved friends here) have made me feel so warm inside. But I'm crushed in another sense as well. I'm leaving. I have two weeks left. It's hurts so much inside. I told him that today and I was crushed, crushed with sadness and...it's really indescribable. But instead of crying and shutting myself in the room, I made a move. And I couldn't stop once I got on track. I went to see him in a cab with my own money that I worked for. All by myself. Somewhat that made me feel more confident about myself. He called me because he wanted to hear my voice. I went to see him 'coz I wanted to see him again. It was corny and simple like that haha(^ ^) Not much was spoken. Just enjoyed the silence and the soft Mexican ballad songs. There wasn't much to talk. It was a calm silence but very sad at the same time. Only had an hour, but it was an hour that I will treasure the rest of my life. I won't give up here. I want to be strong this time, and at least be happy for what I do. I'm going to try visit him as much as I can, and make as much memories as I can. Even though he said it will hurt more later on, I'm gonna be selfish this time and make as many memories. But I want support from people, I want my friends to push my shoulders and pat at the end so I'll know I'm not being a complete fool. Well, actually, I want to be a fool this time. Like in the movies! haha, a complete fool in love..aawwww...hahahahah (> w <;;)

This entry is mostly to myself. A reminder of what I have decided today, and what I felt very strongly in my heart. There's so much going on these days, and mostly bad. I'm so unstable and I'm so lost. But I feel so much couraged and warm when I see my friends. All having their own problems and things to deal with and they still smile at each other. I love them so much, and I'm scared...I'm so... full inside, with all feelings that no words can express...(> _________ <..)

Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Aunque No Te Pueda Ver....

とりあえず日本語で・・・
なぜか知らないけど　今日は日本語で書こうと思った。きっと英語で打つのにちょっと飽きてきたから？（笑　とりあえず　今日のコンサートの感想だけ書こうと思う。ＡＮＧＥＬＡ　ＣＨＥＮＧという　香港からのピアニスト。今では　カナダ人らしい。とにかくすごかった。とってもとってもすごかった。

heeeey, I just wrote lots of stuff in English and it all got erased!!! arrrr... really makes me mad... these days, my computer is not working well at all. My keyboard doesn't type well and my emails and stuff that I write get erased... ugh.... anyway... let me try this again.

So yesterday I just randomly decided to write in Japanese. Just coz I felt like it. and also to leave myself with a little note for what I felt from the concert yesterday. I went to work, to videotape this recital thingy (opening for the Wimberly Recital Hall) and the guest pianist, Angela Cheng (from HongKong, she's now a Canadian citizen) came to play for us. Let me just say that it was amazing. I truly loved it. Especially the last Chopin song... one of my favorite.. but I forgot the name...(^^; ) Anyway, it was very very good. and that's basically what is says up there in Japanese. Sorry... didn't mean to not let people read it, but just wanted to leave myself a little note, so I can copy it down to my little blue diary later on when I have time.

Been lazy and dumb these days. Spent a whole night talking to a friend and didn't sleep at all and went straight to the class. and of course, my cycle is destroyed so I sleep in weird times and I'm very sleepy now actually... Other than that, I feel I'm being impatient with everything these days. Being sleepy and tired makes me turn very impatient, which I hate, but I admit it's the truth. Little things start to bug me and I almost wripped my notes today, but anyway ahhahahah ( ^^) It's good I learned how to control myself though. Used to throw things and break things before(^ ^; ) I hope this weekend I'll be good and sleep at times when I'm suppose to 'coz I know I keep Kanako away from peaceful sleep because of all my creeking chair and typing sound. Gomen... Kanako...(; ; )

okay, I guess that's all I wrote. I just watched CSI with Seven and Chicken, and one of the cases was not very good and the other one was sad, but it's still CSI so it's cool.

Okay, I'm going now to do my hw, Psychology and German. How lazy I am....

Have an amazing day everyone,

LOVE,
AOi (^ ____________ ^)

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: computer....

(^ ^)
Yesterday, I had a pretty interesting day. (especially 'coz my days' been kind of boring.. ^ ^;) So I went out for a walk with my mom and Moa, and we stopped at a Beauty Salon. I recognized it 'coz I saw the advertisement on a mini-magazine. So, since my mom has been a little annoying commenting about my weight and my hair a lot these days, and also because I was getting tired of taking care of my ugly long hair, I decided to cut it. So we went in, and since it was a Korean salon, it was kind of hard to explain them what kind of hair I wanted. I just wanted to be short. I had it short during my junior high, so it's been about 5 years that I haven't had my hair short. The result, the first day was okay. she tried to imitate a hairstyle from a Japanese magazine and yeah... haha I look funny. Anyway, so we came out, went to a Korean market to buy some Kimchi noodles (yummy!), I saw some old friends from highschool on our way back. At night, one of my korean friends called me to join him and his sister to a place called D&B, where it's like a game center, a dance hall and a restaurant, all combined in one place. So I went, with my new hairstyle and stuff. My friend was very surprised, since it was the first time he saw me in short hair. Since her sister goes to a Mexican College, she brought a lot fo Mexican friends. we were 10 ppl. in total. Ate, played and had fun.
It felt really good when I took a shower, since I used less shampoo and conditioner and my hair dried really quickly. mmmmmm... I was feeling good. all refreshed and stuff. *^____________^*

But the problem came today. I woke up and realized that I had cut my hair. and it was suppose to be easier to brush and stuff... my mistake... Because they imitated a model-kind of hair, it is so hard to style it... (= =; ) and I'm not good at using gels and driers and stuff... not at all... so the result... a disaster... (^^; )
Now I have a hairstyle from the oldies... big head... (T_____T) but too late to whine.
Today, after cleaning up the Christmas decorations I went to my friend's house again, since they were going to have a Rosca de Reyes party. The Reyes Magos days was on the 6th, but somehow they decided to eat the Rosca (special break we eat on 6th of Jan.) so I went to their house and met more Mexican friends.
The cool thing about the Rosca de Reyes, is that it has a little doll inside the cake-bread, and whoever gets that doll when you cut the bread, you're suppose to hold a party on the 2nd of February, buying Tamales (a soft thing wrapped in corn leaf and made by corn flour) to everyone. And yeah, my friends sister, who cut it first got the doll. Their mom made good home-made Korean food... tasty...(> w <)
and talked and laughed and had fun. It is always nice to meet a lot of people and get to know each other. Sooo.... here I am, with my helmet-kind of funny hair and a burn I got today 'coz I was electrocuted (?) by the Christmas decoration light.. (= =;) how awful. That's about it for now!!

bye bye-
Love,
AOi (^ _ ^)/

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: clock ticking(?)....

VIVA TEOTIHUACAN!!!
My brother’s friends (2 girls from Japan) left early this morning. I actually had a very nice time with them. So yeah, yesterday, we (my papa and I) took them to Teotihuacan, place where the famous pyramids (the pyramid of Sun and Moon and the Road of the Deads)are, about 40min. from Mexico City. It's one of my favorite places, 'coz the pyramids are so huge and cool and it's amazing and thrilling to imagine how ppl lived here many years ago. There's a lot to walk and pretty hard to climb the pyramids, but boy, the view you can get when you get to the top!! It’s just amazing…So anyway, before we actually started to walk around the pyramids, we went to the museum nearby. It was the first time I went to the museum, but it was really cool. They had crafts and materials that ppl actually used, and there was a section where there were skeletons of women buried with big necklaces made with stones such as obsidians (?). Not in the museum, but I took pictures so I can bring them back with me and show my friends (and Chicken and Seven, I'll make you come with me again anyway when you come to Mexico! hahaha). But seriously, if anyone ever comes to visit Mexico, go to TEOTIHUACAN! (> w <) I guarantee you that you'll have a great time(^ ^)
I bought a post card at the gift shop, to post it in my room. I actually thought about sending it to people, but I calculated that by the time the postcard gets there, I’ll be at school (= =; )
Anyway, so we went there at around noon and came back at about six. Even though six hours seems a lot, it was really fast, there were so many things to see that I wish I had more time. One of the girls is majoring in Archaeology, and wants to be an archaeologist in the future, so she really loved it. She ended up buying a lot of stuff at the markets there, including a chess board with Olmeca’s and Teotihuacans pieces(?). Great times. Yeah.
After we came back, (of course, I fell asleep in the car, as always… ^^; ) we picked up mom and went to eat TACOS!!!! Chon y Chano, is one of my favorite restaurants. I love the decoration and the music they play and of course, the food is very good ^ ^ . We ended up taking pictures with the waiter and he even gave us a special cup used to serve CAFÉ DE OLLA (a very sweet coffee) with the restaurant’s name on it. Very cool, very cool. I was happy ‘coz they said they had a very nice time, and I had a nice time as well (^ v ^)

Ah, Chicken, at Teotihuacan, they write the signboards (explaining the significance of the pyramids and stuff) in Spanish, English and NAHUATL!! I didn’t pay much attention before, since I didn’t actually know what language it was, but now that I know, I was very excited. I wanted to take a picture of it to show it to you or to Alfredo to see if it’s really Nahuatl that is still spoken nowadays, but the letters were too light it wouldn’t come out in picture…(_ _ ) oh well, yeah, but it was exciting.

Anyway, that was yesterday. I slept earlier than usual, since it was a big exercise to climb about 3 pyramids after several months without any sports and I was very tired. It was an awesome day (^ v ^) Today was an interesting day as well, but since my mom says she’ll wake me up early starting tomorrow, I better go to bed… later!!!

BUNCHES OF LOVE,

AOi (^_______________^)

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: ♪loud mexican songs♪*my neighbor nextdoor's having a party!!

＼（＞　ｗ　＜）／

FELIZ AÑO NUEVO!!!!! （＞　ω　＜）

Happy New Year everyone!!! Hope everybody had a wonderful new year celebration. On the 31st, I met four of my highschool friends, we went to the mall, played pool and went to the game center (is that how you call them?) and played DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) there and went to Starbucks cafe afterwords. I had a great time! Though, it's funny, coz I still kind of feel weird seeing Mexicans and hearing Spanish everywhere. I don't know why... anyway, so yeah, I watched Univision - Feliz 2004, and danced and stuff in front of the TV hahhaa silly me. And today, yes, 1st of January 2004, I woke up earlier than usual (not gonna mention the specific time, but just know it was "earlier" than usual haha), ate some traditional Japanese foods (New Years is a big event in Japan) and my parents and I were just relaxing for the day, watching TV. Then, one of my guy friend called and asked me if I wanted to go for a walk to the "park" (too dirty to call it a park) so I did. Apparently, he came to study to Starbucks that's near my house (it's a very nice studying space. I always see bunches of jap. here, always) (can you believe he's studying from New Year? dooood....blehhh) and since it was closed (obviously) he just came by to my house. So we went to for a walk, talked a lot (mostly I did, as always haha) and then we were sitting on the bench in the park when suddenly I felt dizzy, at the beginning I though "oh no, no the dizziness again... the altitude in Mexico makes me dizzy pretty often) but then I realized it was an earthquake! My friend and I were like woooow..... and we saw the streetlights and the cables move and ppl coming out of their houses to be safe. It wasn't that bad. It happens once in a while. Anyway, before he left, he gave me a necklace with a cross. I'm not religious, (he is though) but I like crosses, and I like gifts from friends so I decided to wear it for a while. Then I went back home and went to the Supermarket with my father and Moa.

Things get better from here. As I was buying stuff in the supermarket, I started to recognise a familiar song and it was ♪WAKE ME UP, BEFORE YOU GOGO♪ hahaha I was dancing around with the cart (^ ^) Then, we went to the Bluckbuster near the supermarket and borrowed FAST AND FURIOUS, since my dad haven't seen it yet. Then, we watched it all together (even my mom kinda liked it ^^) and I was so happy to see my dear VIN DIESEL in it....ahhhh....*sigh (sorry Susan, he's MINE! you can stick with the beer-belly man hehe ^ ^) oooohh!! oh! and yesyes, of course, I watched this week's CSI on WED (they do it on wed.s here, and it was the episode with ARCHIE in it!!! so, yeah, I had it taped, of course, so I watched it again ^ ^ It was an old episode, the one where the creepy couple (that killed some just-married-couples) got shot and the one with the college kid boiled in the bath tub, but hey! ARCHIE man! that all that matters (well not really, but I love him that much hehe ^ ^) I made my mom watch it, and even though I had to explain to her many times (since even though it has span. subtitles, it's hard for my mom) she actually liked it (^ ^) and I told her "LOOK MOM LOOK!!! that's MY MAN!!! *pointing at ARCHIE" and she said, "Good looks and intelligence...so far so good" hahaha so yeah, I'm having nice days, I've been dancing and trying to remember the dance I did with around 200 other girls in schoold during my middle school's sports fair. I get so excited as I remember, little by little, how it was. I hope I can remember most of it, if not all of it, 'coz I want to dance it again with many ppl. (of course, if I can find enough ppl to dance with me) 'coz it actually looks much better with lots of dancers.

So yeah, so far, that's how my life's been. Pretty nice ( ^ ^) and from tomorrow, my bro.'s 2 friends are coming back from Oaxaca to stay at my house til the 5th, so I guess I'll have to go around a lot touring them. COOL!!!!!

I'M JUST WISHING THAT EVERYONE WILL HAVE A WONDERFUL YEAR.

TAKE LOTS AND LOTS OF CARE, AND MAY THE YEAR 2004 WILL BE A SPECIAL YEAR IN YOUR LIFE.

Con Muchisisisisisimo Cariño,

AMOR Y PAZ,

AOi ｏ（＞　ｗ　＜）ｏ

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: cars passing by my house...

VIVA MEXICO!!
So, I'm back home now. Boy, where can I start... I haven't updated for a long while and I had so much fun... It was just amazing. It went so fast... But yeah, for now, I'll just write what I had today. So, about the departure, I guess Seven's entry describes it pretty much everything, thank goodness my suitcase was okay this time. I didn't get it opened in Mexico either! (> w <) So, after Seven left, I went through security check, and I don't know why, but they had to double check me and my stuff. So I had to stand and sit while the lady searched for suspicious metalic things with her whatevo electronic device. Then I went to the gate, and departed to Dallas on time. Then in Dallas, I spent about 30 min. walking across the airport, looking for my gate. I wasn't lost, then thing is, that the gate was all the way in the other side of the airport. So by the time I got to the gate, I only had to wait 30min more til departure. But, the departure was delayed (Never punctual Mexicans!) and I got to Mexico City at around 10:30, instead of 9:46. It also took a while to get my suitcase, so my father's first greeting to her daughter was, "what took you so long!?" hahaha, sorry Papi, wasn't my fault (^^) I tried to sleep whole time, but since I slept a lot the previous day, I couldn't sleep very well. Though, when I was near Mexico City, the night view was SO BEAUTIFUL. lights everywhere, and there were some big dark spots that I thought they were lakes and stuffs for a while, but then realized that they were mountains. really precious. lights all over around the tall mountains. I almost forgot that Mexico City was high up in the mountains. It was a great moment. I wish I was able to show it to everyone. It was really nice.
So anyway, after I got out from the exit, I saw my dad as usual, and this time, my mom was there too (usually she waits at home) and it was a big surprise to see my lovely MOa (my little puppy, for those who don't know) in the car!!!! We (Moa and I) were both so excited!!!(> w <) It was awesome.
So I went home, and saw all the Christmas decorations my mom had made (she sells some stuff at house). HOnestly, I was very impressed for her artistic talents. It took me a while to believe that my mom had made all these. I'll take a picture to show people (^^) It reminded me of Seven's house, which is full of stuff that is hand made, either by her greatgrandma, grandma, mom, or dad. Soon there will be Seven's paintings and Daniel's drawings in the house. It's just so amazing how talented her entire family is!!!!! but I'll talk about this thing later, since there's much more to say about it.
I ate DELICIOUS food, home food, japanese food. It was SO GOOD. I love my mom's dishes. they're really good. simple but good (^^) and after I was full, I opened my suitcase and gave them their X'mas presents. They were surprised, since it was my first presents that I gave to them (that I bought all by myself) and both liked them very much. I'm very glad(^ V ^) So here I am, after some exciting moments of sharing briefly my stories during X'mas at Seven's house and the aquarium. Much more to talk about. But for now, since my brother's friends are coming tomorrow (!!!) I have to wake up early to accompany my father to pick them up from the airport... ppfff....I guess I'm tired, after about 9hours of traveling and stuff.

I just want to say that I got back home safely and send my biggest Thanks to Seven and her wonderful family. I'll never forget what an amazing week I had with them
(^________________________^)

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: my parents talking....

...I just came back from Chicken and Seven's room. Talked with Chicken for while, some tears dropped and hugs were thrown. As from yesterday, I know ppl have been worried, I've avoided seeing people I know 'coz I didn't want them to see my face.
As for now, let me just say I've had a very sad night at Bernardo's house, haven't solved anything yet and here I am finding it very hard to concentrate for anything I'm trying to do. I'll be eating dinner with my friends tonight I guess, and I'm really trying hard to be able to take a test tonight. Some people have left me messages on the board and Seven had sent me the cutest picture I've ever gotten.Thank you. My deepest and warmest thanks to all of you.

（＞　△　＜。。　）
I don't think I'm getting any better... of course, I'm not taking any medications. I don't have any. I called my mom today and I guess I need to go buy some medications...（＝　＝；；　）my eyes are waterly (?) all the time, my nose is still running full speed and my throat is all soar and swollen and I'm sneezing more! ewwwww...
I have just slept about 11 hours in total this entire week... NEMUI! (jap.)TENGO SUEÑO! (Spa.) I'm sleeeeepy! （＝　△　＝；　）anyway, let me just say at this moment that I'm SHIT now (So Happy It's Thursday) and CSI's coming! yay!
I'll write more later... I gotta clean this messy room a little bit...
Bye! Adiosito!

LQM (Los Quiero Mucho!)
AOi

Soooo, here I am, almost losing my voice sometimes. Only sometimes. I came back from watching CSI and W/OAT new episodes! yay! Even though My luff (as Chicken says) ARCHIE wasn't there, it was awesome as always! (> w <) After watching, I hang around, 'coz Chicken was trying to order some PIZZA for Alfredo and instead she ended up giving Pechuga de Pollo....
Nonono, I'm jk. heehee. we had a fun time with that, eh-hem, anyway, then I went to tha hallway phone to call Bernardo as I have promised him. I called about 5 time starting at 11, but no one picked up... so I assumed he wasn't back yet. But when he finally picked up the phone he told me he was sleeping! Lo siento mucho Bernardito~ （＞ｘ　＜；）So yeah, he was saying that he might come tomorrow night, but he wasn't sure, he sounded very tired and he's been busy. I TOTALLY understand. So he's gonna call me tomorrow at 11 to see what'll happen.
I really do understand how hard is to work almost all day as a waiter. I've lived through the same thing over the summer while working in Japanese restaurants and japanese inns. He told me he was able to sit and rest every now and then but nothing like that for me! I just had to stand there like a statue, wearing a tight kimono-like uniform for hours and hours if not, carrying around heavy dishes. So yeah, I really do understand how hard it must be, and how tired he is, but... I still miss him （＾　＾；）So can I keep my hopes up that I'll see him tomorrow even though I look horrible (not that I ever look nice hahaa! ^ ^) and sound awful?（●ｖ●；）

Today, I skipped my last Spanish class. So I ate lunch with Seven and Anna! It was very nice ( ^^) I ate 3 plates full of food. Too much （￣　3￣)=3　fuuu......
Since I had more time before my next class, I was going to take a shower(I was nasty! didn't take a shower for ...#$^&$($@) days! shhhh...it's a secret...) but before that, I called my mom to ask if I've got any medication for my cold...and while I was talking to her, Chicken came in and she dragged me down to go accompany her to eat! (jk). On the way, we saw Anna so she came over with us. After having a long conversation about Media Naranja(soul mate) and Amor platónico I went to Anna's room. I haven't talked to her for a long time. So we had a conversation about college and stuff, and how we are all stressed out these days.
After a while, even though I wanted to stay a little bit longer, I went back to my room to get ready for my next class. (so yeah! I didn't take the shower! nasty!)

And now I'm here, I took a shower (finally!) and I'm suppose to be writing my music paper...
blaaah.... I'm just lazy... que hueva... （￣ｘ　￣　）anyway, I guess I should go at least try doing it. ooops! my "language partner"'s MSN-ing me! hahah I have an excuse! heeehe

Tomorrow's Friday! yay!

Amor amor,
(^_____________________^)v AOi

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: ♪Un día llegaré con un disfraz...(la Usurpadora)♪

（=＾　ｖ　＾=）
Why do I keep updating while I'm suppose to be doing hws? （￣　￣；）oh well, I guess I want people to know what's going on in my life.
Today, we had Holiday dinner, and thanks to Mitch's really nice offer, Kanako and I were able to sit with them. But it was different. It was better last year. 'coz everyone was together,and we didn't have to sit with people we didn't know. It actually reminded me again that I'm no longer in BellFifth this year... （●　－　●）
Anyway, it was pretty nice. Then, I talked to Julio on the phone today, since we were planning a party for Jessica (she's not reading this, is she?? ●。　●；）
It was funny, I don't know why. He seems like an interesting guy. The calling started 'coz Bernardo's roommate was locked out of the house and they wanted to ask me where he was. He went to his uncle and aunt's house. Even though I couldn't go because I didn't pick up the phone when he called me (I was in class!), the fact that he called me to ask if I wanted to go with him was very very nice. And he also left a message (^ ^)So I just called from Chicken and 7's room expecting him not to be there, but he picked up haha. I was like yay! but then I had to hang up once, call Julio's house to tell Bernardo's roommate that Bernardo's back. Then I went to the phone on the hallway to call him back. Didn't want to take over their phone talking in Spanish. Anyway, so I started to talk to him, but as soon as his roommate got back, he said "hold on" and put the phone down to go talk to him about the keys. And I had to "hold on" for about 8min! no kidding. and I was able to hear them argue about the keys, that they have changed it to a new one while he (Ber.'s roommate) was gone and blahblahblah.. I was worried, 'coz it didn't sound very nice. And 'coz I know they are not "best friends" to each other... but yeah, after a while he came back and we started talking. He couldn't go to his uncle/aunt's house 'coz of some reason, and instead he went to the mall to look for a present for the secret santa game!!! isn't that cool??? I know who's Secret Santa he is, but let's keep it a secret for now (^ ^) I wonder who's his Secret Santa.
We should absolutely do it, too. Anybody with me? (●ｖ●　）（　●ｖ●）*looks around.
Anyway, he's always funny, and it took me forever to find out when was his birthday. He said he kept saying different things 'coz it was funny how I believed everything （￣　－　￣；）I know, I always get teased about that... But hey, I don't wanna be doubting everything everytime! So anyway, then we talked about movies and we've decided we should go to the movies someday in the near future. He wants to see
The Last Samurai. oh! btw, he went to the movies after getting out of the mall, by himself. He saw Gothika, and he said he liked it.
And so the conversation went on, and the cool thing is, that he asked me if I can talk to him in English so he can learn some more. So I started talking in English (I'm afraid I could be teaching him the wrong stuff...)but he answered me in Spanish. So it felt REAAAAALLLY WEEEIIRD...I guess I just have to get used to it (> _ <; ) But I felt happy, to be able to help him in someway. Actually today I taught him the word "nightmare" and "not alone." hehe (^ ^ ) Anyway, the sad thing was that he said he won't be going to Mexican Dancing, since he wants to get back to his schedule of sleeping early and getting up early in the morning (6 AM!!)to go to the Gym and start the day energetically. It sounds great, and I wish I could do the same thing, but it means I won't be able to see him, unless he calls me up when he doens't have work... （；＿　；）oh well, what can I say, it's the best for him. And so on and so forth. We talked for about...how much? was it about and hour? anyway, it was the first time I talked to him that long on the phone (I've talked to him for more than 3 hours in person before ^^;) so it was really nice. Even though I'll be sleeping very late again 'coz I've just started doing my hw, I'm still satisfied. So, all this I wrote is not for showing off or anything, but to let know people where I am and what's going on. I decided I don't want to get too distanced from my friends...
Other than that, the coolest thing today was the LJ (listening Journal) Seven and I went to the Presser to listen to music and write about them. I LOVE THE "LADIES FIRST" song!!!! IT'S SOOOOOO COOL!!!! (> w <) and I like this assignment since you get to listen to many of the popular songs!!! It was great!!!!
And also, I went to the radio station where Vixie and Susan worked! I've always wanted to go in there, sooo much, and I was there today!!! and they let me introduce a song!! HOW COOL IS THAT!?!?!? Thank you SO MUCH VIXIE AND SUSAN!!! (＞　ｗ　＜）It was amazing! I want to go again!
So yeah, I'm here now, my throat hurts for talking too much when your throat is still swollen. And now I have to go finish my German hw.
TOMORROW'S JESSICA'S B-DAY!!! yooohooo!!!!

monkey signing off...

PS haha! this time I saved my entry before changing my icon, so it didn't get erased! yay! I love this icon. It's the reflection of myself... even the detail of the running nose... hahah!

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: ♪just a little bit, just a little bit R-E-S-P-E-C-T♪

(X . X;;; )*cough cough
Ahhhh!! (￣■　￣；　）I just finished writing my journal entry and while I was having fun realizing that you can choose your Mood Icon (I always wondered how people had all these cute mood icons...^^), I was no longer able to return to my entry page... and it all got erased... （Ｔ　Ｔ）how sad is that? I'm suppose to be working on my music paper by now... (> x <;; )
okay, I guess I'll just write down quickly the things that I wrote with less detail (; _ ; )
basically, I was glad Kanako got better, but at the same time sad, coz Anna's not getting better and she couldn't sing at the recital today. Though, I was able to listen to the beautiful performances of Julia, Kie and many other people I know. BRAVO TO EVERYONE!!! ＼(＾　0　＾)／　
And yeah, I spread milliong and billions of viruses today since I sneezed and coughed so much...ewww (＞　ｘ　＜；　）
And then I commented that I was FINALLY able to make a decision and go back to Mexico for winter break (Al D_____ with the money!I'm not gonna worry about it anymore this time!) and I'm honestly, happy.
Today I talked to one of my best friends back in highschool and I will be able to meet him in Mexico （＾＾）ah, and I wrote about how my dad't email was funny. He replied to my email with the itinerary, and he wrote me back in Spanish (I say, 'coz he's shy and can't write nicely in Japanese ^ ^) with all these bad, slang words. and at the end, he wrote "un abrazo, Papi" (A hug, Daddy). it's the first time I've ever received such thing from my dad. and again, he was able to write this 'coz it's in Spanish. It gave me a little blushing smile on my face （*＾＾*） I'm going back to Chilangolandia!!! haha!
mmm...what else... I wrote double the length of what I have now... (; _ ;) and it's all gone... so I guess I'll just leave it like that for now (^^;; )

Hope that ppl who are sick get better very soon (including myself!) and those who are healthy, to take care of themselves to not get it!

Un abrazo, AOi （＾　ｖ　＾）

Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: ♪Te Quiero Tanto, Tanto, Tanto...♪

(> _______ <;; )
I'm suppose to be studying... My cold is getting worse, and I need to sleep. But I just want to comment that my life has been through many changes these couple of weeks, making a person other than my friends take a major part in my life. But that part of my life is getting better, I guess, or at least, I hope, but I feel like I've stepped away a little from my previous college life. I see things differently, and I see things I didn't see before. Some good, maybe some not good after all. However, some aspects of my life are going in a negative way. And for today, the greatest thing I regret and makes me slap myself seriously hard is that I wasn't there when Kanako needed me. I got back from Bellfifth couple of min. ago, expecting Kanako to be awake as always. But she was in bed. So I woke her up (even though I didn't want to) coz I forgot to give her the Bio assignment due tomorrow! (right there, I already deserve like 5 good slaps). She told me it was okay, I should have known, that she is smart enough to get her assignment by herself. So she had it already done. that relieved me. But then she didn't look okay. And she told me she got sick. She didn't feel good since she left with her host family and she had headache, stomachache and she even threw up on her way back from there. And where was I when my roommate was suffering all this in the damn cold room (where the heater is NOT WORKING! ay caray!)? Of course, minding only my own shitty business. I really feel so frustrated now, since Kanako's always been there for me, giving me medications and worrying about me when I felt sick. And me? I wasn't even there to make her a hot tea. blaaah... I don't know. I guess I'm just gonna leave now. Couple of things had made me think that my relation with Bernardo is nothing but a misery and BS to other people and for some aspects, for myself as well. I have no further words at this moment...

Blue Monkey signing off....

Current Mood: irate
Current Music: ♪Where is the Love♪

(●　＿　●）
It's 2:16 AM right now, and I'm here sitting, thinking when I'm suppose to be studying for my Bio test coming up. But I was happy for a while, excited and stuff about Seven's "surprise" b-day (aaay Chicken... you're not good at lying huh??? ^ ^) even though she wasn't feeling very well.
Then I talked with Seven, since I haven't talked with her for a while, and realized that it is true that somehow we all are related with the Mexican guys right now. Dealing with things that we didn't have to before, and some things that are messing around the peaceful days we had. I'm one of them, so what can I say, I can't complain about it or anything. I like Bernardo, and I miss him, and it's a thing that won't change anymore now that I met him, but still I turn around and look at myself and makes me wonder if I'm in the right place.
I don't know... how I wish I could get all the answers to these messy and confused minds. It is really hard to keep up with many kinds of relationships. But, yeah, I always tend to put more weight in one of them, which is a very very bad thing.
For now I can just say I want to talk to Alfredo, not to cotorrear(Idk in English... chitchat???) but to get him on the track, since today I talked to him for a while for the first time, and it gave me some ideas and opinions that I think he should understand. He is a nice guy, but there are things that one should know I guess.
I think it's the time to settle things down a little bit before we go into winter break, 'coz I don't want to drag this messiness (?) down to spring semester.
Am I making any sense? probably not. oh well, I need more time to organize my thoughts. I should go study now...

LOVE YOU ALL, that's for sure.
(●　ー　●）

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Kanako typing in her computer as always...

(=^ v ^=)
Hello from Philadelphia! woohoo!
So, I haven't updated for a while, but I'm back now.
hmmm.. I've had busy days... doing... many things?? I don't know... let me start from before Turkey day.
After Tue. classes, I went to Bernardo's apt. with Chicken. He had called me yesterday if I was able to see him, so I decided to go. We went to SONIC together! It was my first time, and even though there were no people wearing roller skates, it was good. The food was tasty. I got quite upset with Bernardo, since he was rude to Chicken in not giving her the right directions. And even though I understand that he doens't know how nervous Chicken gets when she drives, he should have been a little bit nicer than what he was.
Anyway, we came back, and right after that, Chicken left before her work time.

ooops! gotta finish this later since my bro and I are leaving to pack and to eat dinner and leave with Chicken!!
write later!bye!

＼（T　0　T＼)　ahhh....
oh, Please forgive me my lord, for I have stained the lives of our "INNOCENT" children today...
What have I done!!!! How many bad words did I teach you guys!? that was worth like 50 WOTD!!! I feel guilty... I am guilty, yes, I'm guilty, please slap me...
Okay, so, I taught too many bad words in Spanish today, including a bad word in Japanese!
hahah, but I know you guys won't use it unless it is really necessary, right? Please don't abuse them okay? (^ ^)
So yeah, today I was done with my Eng. Lit paper that I was suffering through the entire week, and I was so happy. Thursdays are my toughest days coz I have five classes to go and usually papers due on that day. So yeah, when Thursdays are over, I just feel like it's Friday already, and I just stress out and watch CSI (even though it sad that Archie didn't come out again!! > __ <..) and W/O a Trace.
They were both sooo cool as always, even though it's always sad to realize that the reality is much more harsh than all these episodes.
So after we watched it, we were hanging around the hall watching Corraine smile for her gifts from her first year. Which, was kind of sad, because it made me remember about Fumi, Emiko, Yuka and Mikiko... boy I miss them so much...
Aaanyway, so then Chicken and Susan started practicing their Spanish so I decided to stay a "little" longer to talk with Seven in Japanese.
It was cool, 'coz I told my mom Seven and Chicken might be coming to Mexico next year and I was teaching her how to say basic things.

Oh yeah, moving from the topic for a while, finally, today I contacted my parents after weeks of struggle for making a solid plan for winter break. My mom thought I've already bought the ticket back to Mexico and stuff so, it was hard to hear her all depressed and sad when I told her what had happened. I told her everything, about New Orleans and about going to Seven or Chicken's house.
But even though the price has risen up (?) to more than $600, my mom still wanted me to come back home... well obviously yeah... but no money... it's called REALITY. I had to kind of yell at her to stop being unrealistic and immature.
But still, I had to end up telling her that I would look for tickets and decide.
I HATE making decisions. No joking. I just can't make decisions... I'm SO INDECISIVE!!! (> x < ) it gets on my own nerves. So yeah... still having a headache thinking what to do during winter break...
Seven's parents also sent me an e-mail inviting me to stay at their house in winterbreak... how sweet is that... It was such a sweet and nice surprise.
THANK YOU SO MUCH (=^______________________________________^=)
So I guess I'll have a headache the entire weekend making a final decision.

Okay, now, going back,so yeah, then we all started talking about spanish slangs, and I ended up talking and talking and teaching and teaching and ... how bad was that....(= =; ) shame on me AOi! Shame on me! real bad!
but oh well, if people at least had a nice time for a while, i guess that's something I should be happy about, right?

ppfff....another thing. So I came back to my freezing room (no kidding. it's so cold! it's even colder than the outside temp.!) I found Yumika's note saying that we would go to DC (for the party we have planned since last week)on Friday...
I wanted to go to DC, to meet new Japanese people and to get back my sunglasses from Byungho... but now I can't. This time I was able to make a choice 'coz hey, I already had a plan before that and I want to make new Mexican friends as well.
I better have fun Friday night! hahah jk (^^) there's always a next time right?
So yeah, the sad thing about this is, though, that Kanako will be gone almost the entire weekned. She decided to go with Yumika tomorrow, and she'll be back on Saturday afternoon. but then on Sunday early in the morning, she'll be leaving to DC again, this time for her class (they're going to see a play!).

Anyway, I'm getting very sleepy, so I'll leave now.
DULCES SUEÑOS to everyone! (sweet dreams)

CMC: AOi (^ 0 ^)/~~

Current Mood: guilty
Current Music: guilty...guilty...

WORD OF THE DAY???
Since I really admire and like Seven's QOTD and stuff, I'll be giving Word of the day in Spanish and in japanese.. I don't know... maybe only one of them so people won't get bored and stuff..(^ ^; )

Spanish: "Dame una mano" (same in English, "give me a hand")

Japanese: "ちょっと　手を貸してください”(chotto te wo kashitekudasai. literary, "let me borrow your hand" = please help me)

is it helpful at all?? (^___^;;;) oh well, whatevo ^ ^;;

（●　＿　●。。）
Okay, fine, I'm just horrible at making plans （＝　ｘ　＝）
Haha, I just talked with bunches of people about the winterbreak plans.
No more New Orleans. Kyung had to stay. I understand it, he was feeling so bad I feel sorry about him as well, for causing him so much trouble. I'm SORRY PEOPLE...I really am (_　_）
I just wanted to have a fun plan, and try to forget that my parents are going to be by themselves in Christmas. I was trying to have fun. I thought that was the least I could do for them. Hey, but there's even a word in japanese, "予定は未定”(yotei wa mitei) it means plans are uncertain.
So I'm not too surprised I have to go over this. It happens all the time.
It just bothers me 'coz this time I've involved so many people in this.
I hope Sayaka can find somewhere she could stay 'coz she told me she doesn't feel comfortable staying in one place for a long time. I understand. There're many people like that. I wish I could have bunches of houses around the world so my friends can use it whenever they want, as much as they want.
As for me, I know I'll be okay in a while. It's just takes me time to swallow disappointing things, especially when I had already 3 plans down.

Other than that, it was a fine day. I've downloaded some Mexican songs that I like, and my sock almost got a hole on it 'coz I was monkey-dancing like crazy in my room and you know... friction with the carpet...heheh （●　ｖ　●；）
and hey, a guy's visiting me this Friday! Yes yes people, I'm excited, too (^ ^)
I haven't had the opportunity to talk in Spanish with a guy for a while (sometimes its more fun 'coz they use more slangs and bad words than girls and it's entertaining haha ^^) and it's always nice to have someone visiting you, right? So far, I only know his name and that he's a great dancer. I hope I can get to know him well. mmm... what else... I'm trying to think of nice stuff so I can get out of this gloomy mood. I'm half way out though! I was thinking about food and I'm getting happy again haha (^ ^)

mmm...what else what else...ohoh, yesyes, I finally got permission to put my little donation box in the dining hall! Very exciting (^ ^) As Chicken said, I'll be optimistic. No more unhappy thoughts right? (^ ^)
Okay, I'm much better now, as a matter of fact, I'm okay now (＾　ｖ　＾）
Now I have to go at least come up with a topic for my Eng. Lit paper! whaa!!!（＞＿＜、）

LOVE YOU ALL!!

AOi (^_________________________^)

Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: ♪Salsa!　El Venado♪(The deer) in my head ^ ^

Fun Saturday night!
I didn't update yesterday, bad-Aoi...
Anyway, Saturday night was great. I woke up late as usual, Chicken and Seven calling us to go down to eat with them.
I don't remember what I did during the day...
Oh yes! Chicken and I watched the "Death and the Maiden" based on the novel "La Muerte y la Doncella," but it turned out that the movie was soooo different from the novel... I think I liked the script better than the movie. Anyway, now I have to think of a topic to write for my paper in Spanish... laaazy.....
Then, in the evening, Chicken decided to go Mexican Dancing! I was kind of surprised but very happy. I wanted to go too, so I was excited as well.
But before that, we went to see the lunar eclipse!
It was sooo beautiful... But I felt so bad for Kanako, 'coz she was coming right after me to see the eclipse with us, but I didn't notice, so by the time we started walking toward the observatory, she couldn't find us.... (; _ ;) I'm so sorry Kanako. I didn't know you were coming...
So yeah, other than that, it was an awesome time, cold, but you know, when you're with your friends, in a once-in-a-life-kind of moment, even the coldness turns to a sweet memory.
Anyway, so then we went back to our rooms, got ready to go out for Mexican dancing, and before we went, Chicken, Seven and I went to see the Fall Formal.
I looked like a whore where everybody else was dressed up with evening dresses and suits, but hey, Chicken and Seven were also in Jeans and stuff so... hehe(^ ^)
We found Mitch and Ricardo (btw, he had called me before and said, "Hola guapa, como estas?"(Hey cutie, how are you?) on the phone, which freaked me out at first, but it was very funny (> w <)hehe) and then Anna and Josephina. Anna borrowed my dress!! She looked sooooo good, as always (^^)
So yeah, then we ran to Susan and Julia's room to get Chicken ready with her hair (after she's been electrocuted (sp?) and got the puffiest hair with the drier. hehehe^^) and we were ready to go!

I was nervous as well, since it was the first going Mexican Dancing here, but when I started dancing, I got relaxed. Bernardo was such an amazing dancer, I really enjoyed dancing with him. I ended up dancing with six guys, including an old man who kept asking me to dance with him. But the thing that I enjoyed the most was dancing with Chicken. She danced so many times!! and she did actually tried! I'm so proud of you Chicken!!! You can't imagine how much you've improved since we've started practicing for the first time in Main Hall. I even danced in a slow music with Chicken!
It was sooo romantic... wasn't it Chicken... （"￣　ω　￣"）
hahaha, anyway, the dancing ended at 2 o clock (time passed very fast!) and we went to César and Alfredo's apt.'s parkinglot. We helped translate what Alfredo was trying to say to Susan, and he was very sweet in words. It reminded me how passionate and romantic the Mexicans are.
So I guess we kept talking for about 2 hours, since we came back at about 4, and by the time I got back to my room and went to sleep, it was 4:30 already.
I was still too excited it took me a while to fall asleep. It's been a while since I've danced so much and talked Spanish so much. It was really nice. Oh! and It was the first time I've ever hear someone talk in Nahuatl~!! It was amazing!!!! I LOVED IT!!!!!
I wich I could learn Nahuatl from them.
I remembered my highschool advisor telling me once that I should go somewhere I can go touch and feel my culture whenever I'm stressed and sad. It was true.
It really helped me give the strength to deal with the problems I have and it really made me feel better. Thanks for taking me Mexican Dancing.
Oh, and one thing that was kind of sad and funny at the same time, is to see people's face whenever I started talking in Spanish and i told them I'm from Mexico and noone believed me...(^ ^;) Oh, well.. I guess I just have to get used to it...haha

Okay, so today now I have a lot of work to do, since yesterday I ended up doing nothign productive at all... (= . =;;)

It is suddenly getting extremely cold! TAKE CARE EVERYONE!!!!!!

TIGHT HUGS,
AOi (^_____________________^)v

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: someone playing music very loud...(= x =)

（＾　ｖ　＾）
Heey, I'm getting better now. I guess, well, at least I'm trying! my stomach still hurts in the mornings, but I can make through it, right??

I don't know what to write about... Just had 5 classes and I'm just tired...
But I talked to Kyutek today! that was cool! Some of the topics weren't as nice as the others but, yeah, it's really nice to get to know people.
Talked to Seven as well! maaaan, i'm so bad at reading maps and giving directions. Yeah, I've known it for my entire life, but it really makes me sad. Why am I so bad at it?? But Seven cheered me up 'coz she said I'll learn (^ ^) hopes up.

So yeah, I had a funny time with the word "pimpin" today, don't know what really means, but still funny (^ ^) and another thing, when Kyutek called me a "playa'" (which wasn't very nice of him, but yeah, he was jk)and I cried about it to Kanako, she said "How did he know??" Isn't that great!?
HAHAHAHHA it just made me laugh. I love my roommate ( ^^) she's so honest you know? (I know she meant something else but still... it's funny. just like when Chicken said that she wasn't skinny ^^)

oh! before I go, Chicken, Mitch and I went to this exposition(?) of an earth baloon after lunch, and it was so cool!!! We actually went INSIDE the baloon!! Made us dizzy and stuff and our voice echoed funkly, but very interesting. Even thoug I suck at it, I like Geography.

So yeah, except for one mail that I got again, it was a rather okay-day.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND PEOPLE!!!
AOi (^ ^)/

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: ♪♪Beauty and the Beast (inst.)♪♪

( 0 v 0)/~
Yesterday, without being able to do any of my works because of the sudden sharp pain in my stomach, I went to sleep and missed all my classes and even my work in the morning. I should have worked, since I need to earn more money so I can help out my friend. Oh well... at least I was able to rest a while.
I went to Self Defense class, though. and Chicken and I figured out that Sayaka was in our class as well!(she didn't come last time 'coz she forgot about it.haha)
I love that class. I love excercising. It really makes me feel better, both physically and emotionally. I guess I needed it.

Still having problems with the plan. I kept calling my brother so I can make my own plan, and yeah, he has til Monday to decide. The two Japanese girl who were coming from Florida...are not coming together anymore. Why little things can change a person's whole decision? Why complicate life so much? Well anyway, so one of them decided not to come anymore and one will come earlier now.
I talked to Kyung about it. I feel very sorry I haven't told him an exact date I'll be there... He kept listening to me grumble(?) and whine about stuff. I asked him to tell me something nice, something that'll make me cheer up a little.
He's bad at these things, though...hehe... but finally he came up with a book that he read recently. It was titled "Anger" by Thich Nhat Hanh (don't even know how to pronounce it but...cool name! ^^) and he said that anger is like a newly born baby.
You have to take care of it and understand it like a mother. Whenever the baby's born and cries, we should make it settle down and make it stop crying. Anger is like a baby, coz you need to be strong and very patient to take care of it like a mother.
I thought it was nice. And since I promised him that I'll let him go sleep if he said something nice, I did let him go sleep (^ ^)haha. But yeah, I thought it was very true, and even though I have no anger towards anyone at this moment it made me want to be stronger... stronger so I can help those who I care about.

Why is it so hot these days? I have to turn on the AC all the time 'coz it's so hot!(or is it 'coz I'm HOT *raises eyebrows*) hehe anyway, crazy weather is going on together with nasty cold virus! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES EVERYONE!!!!(haaa look who's talking ^ ^;)

TWO MORE DAYS TIL WEEKEND!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE... what else do we need?
AOi (^_________________________^)

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: click...click...

Advertisement